Musingswhilewalking

Caught this in one of my friends posts. Written by some high school kid, reminded me of what it was like back then. When floods of emotional turmoil would rage behind our smiles… it was hard…for all us. I guess that is why we still cling to one another. We saw each other during the awkward, crazy, stupid, drama-infested moments in our life, and we were fine with it.     

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Okay hold up.

Why are there so many sad people on tumblr who hate everything about themselves?

Why are you all so sad?

Why do you hate yourselves?

Is it because your looks, your body, your personality, whatever-the-fuck-else-have-you don’t match up to the misguided, so-called ideals that the self-centred minority of our society have established, and from that you have assumed you have no worth?

Is it because you think nobody cares?

Well look again.

You’re right about one thing:

nobody cares…

what you look like, what you sound like, what race you are, what gender, how old or how young, who you love and who loves you.

You are a human being, just like the rest of us and who are we to judge? So long as you know to respect the lives of others *and* of yourself, that’s fine by me.

About the other thing? Well, have you seen the number of “you are beautiful don’t kill yourself” posts here? There are so many, reblogged over and over again. And I can tell that each and every damn one is as serious as hell.

Because each life is beautiful indeed.

And it would be a damn waste if you spent it hating yourself for reasons that other people made up for you. 

sometimes we just forget that there is something more out there. Something greater than what we have now. But for days like today it does not really matter much. Its the slow and steady days of October that feel like a mothers’ loving embrace. We sit back and relax, mesmerized in the unending comfort of each tick and tock floating away.

         10 years goes by so fast for many of us. We sometimes forget to lessons we have learned along way. Saw an article once on what people would tell their past selves if the had the chance. Finally looking back at my twenties, great memories always flood my mind.

                                                                                                   December 19, 2011

Dear Renel ,

     Happy Happy 20^th Birthday! I know you are very excited with what lies ahead and you should be. Next ten years of your life will be filled with amazing discoveries and adventures, trust me, I know. But before all of that adventure, I want you to remember a few things, make sure you remember ok! This may save you a lot of heartache and make the journey so much better.  

                Cherish your friends, you will meet many of them soon, Like Adam, Jinny, Orla, Alan, Liz, Sarah, Daivat, Hamed, Vicky and many many more.  They will come from different backgrounds and places all over the world and they will change you.  They will show you things that will expand your horizons and show you a world greater than what you live in now. But also never forget the friends you have already made. They may affect you greatly right now, and you will realize soon the real meaning of true friendships from them. Never forget your brothers from Ateneo, you all grew up together for all those years and your bonds may never be broken no matter the distance or how much time has passed.

                You will also a lot of mistakes, I mean A LOT of them. (no, seriously, A LOT) Don’t let them define your life though, live through them and at the very least laugh just about how stupid you were. It may be the greatest pains you will ever get but yes, Renel, you will also lose friends. Great friends, like Isabelle, Eduardo, Colin, Maria, Maja and Thomas. Don’t be afraid to tell them you’re sorry for your mistakes. Your pride may not let you but never forget how much they meant to you.  Even though you are now apart, remember the beautiful moments with them and how they helped you become who you will be.

                Oh and if you’re ever in the the US, go visit your Tita Lina and Tito Boboy in Chicago. You’ll learn so much from them on how to live simple and build a beautiful family.  They may have the craziest kids EVER, but slowly you’ll realize that behind all the shouting and banter, there is so much love and caring between those brother and sisters, that you wish you were part of it as well.  

Don’t ever stop trying to meet new people, I know you’re pretty shy but making new friends or connecting with old ones will be the greatest thrills you will experience. Renel, your life in this world will be molded by the people you meet so make the most out of it. Finally, Take your time, don’t grow up too fast , and tell mom and dad I love them.   

                                                                                                              Your biggest fan,  Renel

P.S. Please please learn how to dance, and take your French lessons seriously. That will totally save you from a year of awkwardness. If you need help, that’s what aunts are for. Uncles show you how to choose the girls, but the aunts tell you how to impress them make sure you take care of them.

I know it is there, at the back of my head, slowly gnawing at my subconscious. A touch of fear, disappointment and sadness with a swig of hope and excitement. Time is slowly running out on this great adventure. These past few nights he has shown me a slice of what is ahead. At times it felt so real; being back, waking up and being finally….. HOME 

(http://www.easyart.com/art-prints/Anthony-Hibbert/Dreaming-of-home-251366.html)

(While arguing with an old flame)

Man: What? What more? You told me to leave you alone.. I left you alone. You told me to stop texting you.. I did. I told you then that I was sorry, it was my mistake, all of it. You did not want it, what else do you want? Oh, and for the record, I never broke your heart…you broke mine.      

ahhhh..Saturday night tv marathons..you cheese and comedy! I will miss you :(